And So It Begins

My story begins in the fall of 2012. I had just moved to North Carolina to follow my boyfriend. We will call him Mr. BD (Mr. Band Director). I'm from Georgia originally, and had never lived anywhere else. I went to college at the University of Georgia (Go Dawgs!), which was only about 45 minutes from my hometown. I was close enough to visit my family every weekend and my best friends either went to school at UGA or were in constant contact through various forms (read: Facebook). I had just finished up work as a Development Intern at the Georgia Aquarium and a really stressful stint as a server and bartender at a high maintenance hotel & resort in the area. I was nervous about moving and both Mr. BD and I were beginning our careers, his as a band director, and mine as a Fund Development staff with a local non-profit. It was a stressful time and one riddled with insecurity. Needless to say, I gained around 20 pounds on top of the 30 I gained in college, and all of a sudden, I was "the big girl". I'd spent most of my late teens and early 20's as a petite, moderately athletic girl. I was mortified about the person I had become. I was constantly trying to squeeze myself into my relatively new professional duds that had seemed to fit just a month before. How humiliating, right? Even worse? I would go to my old stomping grounds (Banana Republic, New York & Company, etc.) to find new ones and I wouldn't be able to wear the largest size. After a while, I just stopped trying anything on because I couldn't stand the thought of another tear shed over something I thought I could just will away with some inconsistent exercise. 

Fast forward to May 2013. I hadn't lost the weight. Not a pound. I still have the most ugly stretchmarks on my stomach. I still jiggle a little and I can't wear dresses in the warmer months without bicycle shorts or spanks to halt the dreaded chub rub. But I am no longer that humiliated young woman. I am liberated. For anyone who has ever felt frustration and disgust at not looking like they want, you have at some point heard a similar phrase; "You have to learn to lover yourself no matter what you look like", "It doesn't matter what size or shape you are so long as you have confidence". Who else became instantly exhausted the moment those words left another's mouth? I know I did. It was like they were asking me to do the most impossible thing. Or even worse, it was possible for everyone else, but not me.And then something happened. I came across a blog. I can't remember, now, how I ever discovered it, but I know I did, and once I'd found it, it was like an addiction. Girl With Curves. I'm new to blogging so I have no idea how to credit Tanesha Awasthi for this amazing little egg. She is an absolutely stunning person and she can rock just about any kind of outfit you could imagine. I happen to think my taste is more classic. If I had to be a Sex in the City character, it would be Charlotte. I idolize Spencer from PLL (please don't judge me for this reference. Netflix is to blame), and Catherine Duchess of Cambridge. I would say Tanesha has the classy act down.

Once I'd found Girl With Curves, I couldn't stop searching for more plus size blogs just like hers. Did you know there are a ton out there?? I mean, I have to spend half an hour every morning browsing a whole list of them I have mentally stored away to boost my self-esteem. I started to realize that there was a revolution out there. Something teeming under the surface. A movement for us curvy girls. Our slogan? "We're here, we're big, and we're still absolutely beautiful!". Not to mention many of us have brains, personality, humility, confidence, love. This revolution not only taught me that I can be extraordinarily beautiful, and that I no longer need to be ashamed of the way I look, but that I have no right to judge any person I meet. Had I never gained weight, I don't think I would have learned this lesson, and for that I am grateful. Even when I was at my thinnest, which was far from plus size, I didn't have the confidence I have now or the compassion.

Enough about my story. I want to show off my newly acquired wardrobe. Once I realized there was nothing wrong with me, I began shopping like the old days. I got excited when I saw beautiful skirts and dresses, because I knew I could rock them. I knew if I just shrouded myself in self-love, if I made a vow to nurture my body and treat it with respect, if I took care of myself the way I deserve, then damn...I could rock ANYTHING. 

You will have to excuse the quality of the photos. They're selfies in the restroom at work. I have been taking plenty of myself to share with my friends back home, and they don't really care about the quality. I hope to develop a better system for taking these. Perhaps Mr. BD will help a sista out?

This will be a blog where I share my outfit inspirations and my newly acquired positive body image. I hope you will join me in this journey.

Xoxo, Erin