Don't Judge a Book

This is one of those posts where I get a little political. I told you they wouldn't be often, and I still stand by that, but once I get something like this on my mind, I want to share it while the moment is still fresh.

Today, I read the most interesting (read: infuriating) article. I won't share the link or the title for the sake of being polite, but to give some background, it was published on a humorous website hosted by a non-profit organization (that part kind of blew my mind). The subject of the article was a woman who, though it wasn't very clear in the article, is publishing a photo book to combat the discrimination she feels at the hands of a fat society for being a hardworking, healthy and fit woman. The premise of her book is that "real women" like her who are healthy and fit don't feel like they need to apologize to those fat women in society who bash them for being thin. In their pictures, these "real women" will hold signs with an ironic apology printed on it. An example: "I'm sorry the butt I work for isn't as good as the one you eat for". Her purpose for the book is to educate young women about how to accept themselves if they are fit and healthy in the face of adversity at the hands of fat people. The article, also written by a woman, discusses how disillusion her subject is for believing in this society that fat women are over glorified and more socially accepted than thin women. She also goes on to highlight how unoriginal it is to imply fat women are lazy and gluttonous, as if we don't deal with that often enough. While I agree with the author's stance, once my anger faded, I learned I had taken something entirely different away from the article.

As a curvy young woman, I feel like I battle adversity a lot. I don't have people constantly shouting obscenities at me when I walk down the street, but I know how it feels to be fed advice from doctors on how to be thin, advice from other women on how to flatter my body, and I hear the faint whispers by my closest friends and family about my irregular and unattractive weight gain. I know that each of these comments have come from a place of love for me, or insecurity about themselves, but sometimes I just want to quiet the noise and be myself. I want to be beautiful and wonderful without all the chatter. I want my neighbor to do the same. And the mailman. And I want more than anything, this author, to accept herself, quietly, for what she is without having to publish a book retaliating against those who have harmed her. I don't agree with this reverse discrimination. I didn't start hating myself because I was surrounded by beautiful fat women. I started hating myself because I was surrounded by images of stick-thin women in all of my magazines, gorgeously polished models on my television, and the constant barrage of fat phobia out there. I was in a constant battle with my body, never feeling fit enough or healthy enough to deserve love, not even from myself. I am finally being exposed to the kind of media I want to see, blogs upon blogs written by witty and gorgeous women over a size 12. I feel like I have found my place in the world. I am no longer a victim, as this author has allowed herself to be. Do I think she is part of the privileged group of women who see real results from their efforts? Yes. Does this book of hers hurt my feelings? Yes. Does that make her better than me or right for what she is doing? Absolutely not. I believe she has been discriminated against in one way or another for having her body, and she does not think it is right. I have also been discriminated against. To deal with the frustration and anguish I felt, I decided to be yet another voice in this movement toward the acceptance of fat women. I don't criticize thin women for being what they are, and one day, no one will criticize me for being what I am. I hope she finds peace in her endeavors and to all of the lives that are positively influenced by what she is doing, good for them. But as for me, I am going to close that tab on my browser and continue on this trajectory of self-love and happiness!

Thanks, again, for sticking around to the end. You will have an outfit post in your near future!